Just Published: ‘I Hate Romeo and Juliet’!
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I HATE ROMEO & JULIET — The World’s Worst Love Story Gets the Roast It Deserves!
Forget everything your high school English teacher sobbed over. I Hate Romeo & Juliet takes Shakespeare’s iconic tragedy and drags it, kicking and screaming, through a dumpster fire of vulgarity, sarcasm, and weaponized stupidity. This ain’t poetry — it’s a full-throttle meltdown of horny teenagers, emotionally bankrupt adults, and one very tired priest trying (and failing) to keep two star-crossed dumpster fires from throat-punching fate. With sharp-tongued rewrites of every scene, this book is drenched in profanity, made-up slang, unhinged metaphors, and zero patience for Shakespeare’s so-called “romance.” Romeo is a drama sponge with a death wish. Juliet’s a chaos fairy with zero chill. And everyone else? Mostly dead, clueless, or both. Perfect for readers who’ve always wanted to slap the original play, scream “WHY?” at the characters, and see what happens when you lace classic literature with modern filth and a gallon of spite. This is Romeo & Juliet like you’ve never seen it — and hopefully never will again.